


what do you think this is?

by sockablock



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Midnight Conversations, Mutual Pining, religious existentialism meets blossoming ROMANCE, soft its just really soft ok, spoilers for episode 75
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 06:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20304658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockablock/pseuds/sockablock
Summary: Caduceus carefully extends a hand, brushes it through the cosmos blooms.“I’d like to think that our lives are connected. That, in a way, we were destined to meet.”Fjord blinks. His eyes go wide.“You…really? You do?”(or: my descent into rare-ish pair hell)





	what do you think this is?

**Author's Note:**

> Look. LOOK. I WROTE THIS AT FIRST ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS AN ASK AND YET. AND _YET_........finally i see the potential and now all of you also have to.
> 
> (based on a prompt from @cyan-titan over on tumblr who asked for some fjord/clay mutual pining)

_“What is the thing that inspires you?”_

_“…I like the oceans. I always have.”_

_“What do you like about the oceans?”_

_“Well, you…you can get lost out there. It’s easy to fall away from everything else. It’s calming, it’s meditative, it’s…humbling. You’re at the mercy of the elements. Perhaps the greatest one on this plane.”_

———————

Later on, much later on, days later, Fjord finds his way to the top of their tower. It is night in Rosohna, as it always is, though the little strings of sun in the garden still glow.

Up here, so high above the city, he can almost pretend that the wind is the waves. That the rustle through his hair is a sea’s gentle breeze.

He inhales, and it isn’t at all salty, but the comfort of summer flowers still manages to soothe his chest.

And then he takes a closer look.

Caduceus is there, nestled in the roots of the massive oak, stretching high above their heads.

He nods. He gives a slow, steady smile.

“Good evening, Mister Fjord,” he says. “What brings you out here, at this hour?”

Fjord feels his lips quirk up. “How do you know what hour it _is_?” He gestures to the garden, as if asking permission. “May I…?”

“Of course.” Caduceus shifts to the side, and watches Fjord sit down among the daisies. “And…I’ll admit that really was a guess. Everyone seemed ready for bed, earlier.”

“Well, you do happen to be correct.” Fjord runs his hands along a patch of grass. “I think they’re all asleep, now.”

“But not you?”

“No,” Fjord sighs. “No, I’m not…I’m still not great at falling asleep. You know. Just…in case.”

Caduceus shrugs, and leans back against the tree.

“I understand,” he says, and Fjord is sure he does. “I can understand what it’s like to want to avoid dreams.”

Fjord studies the curve of his brow. “You’ve had nightmares before, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Caduceus nods. He seems to shift around for a bit, then folds his hands in his lap.

“Before I came to join your group, back when I was still in the grove, there…was a bit of time where I was alone. My family had left, as you know, and I was the last Clay to venture out.”

“I believe I remember that,” Fjord murmurs. “Your family is around somewhere now, though, yes? Looking for a source of green glass?”

“Right,” Caduceus agrees. “But I didn’t know that, until now. And I didn’t know if they were safe. And from time to time, I’d ask the Mother, and she’d mostly just urge me to venture out as well. Sometimes, I think…in the face of adversity, it can be hard to stop your imagination from trying to fill in the gaps.”

Fjord leans in. “That…yes. Yes, I do believe you are correct.”

Caduceus shrugs again. “Well, it’s alright. I’m here now, aren’t I? And I know the path.”

“You do?”

“More so than before. It’s still…not as clear as I’d like, but—” Caduceus gives a smile, “—that _is _what faith is about, isn’t it?”

Fjord looks down at the grass.

“I…suppose it can be,” he says. “I used to think, well…from what I learned as a child, that faith was more…structured, than this. That you were told what rules to follow, and who to listen to, and that would make you a better person.”

Caduceus chuckles. Fjord meets his gaze.

“Maybe…that can be the case,” he says. “But there are always different ways of doing things. And personally, well…I think faith is personal. And being able to find your own path, your own destiny, makes it unique. And I wasn’t on the ocean for long, but…I imagine it’s like charting a course. Through unknown waters, right? Unknown seas. And you have an idea of where you want to go. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be people to help you. And maybe they don’t even know it, but…they’re on paths of their own. And your lives will cross because they’re meant to. Because your paths, in some way, are connected.”

He carefully extends a hand, brushes it through the cosmos blooms.

“I’d like to think that our lives are connected. That, in a way, we were destined to meet.”

Fjord blinks. His gaze goes wide.

“You…_really_? You do?"

“Of course. We’re helping each other now, right? And we’ve been together for quite some time.”

Fjord’s eyes drift across his face, glowing softly in the gentle light.

“But…well, sometimes I think that I’m getting more from this than you are.”

Caduceus snorts. He shakes his head.

“Mister Fjord, I can guarantee that isn’t true.”

———————

_“What do you think this is? All of us. Me, here. You, here. These people. This is an intervention. Eventually, one day, someone will pray for a miracle. Pray for something to save them, to whatever gods are nearby. And that prayer will be answered…because you will show up.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I'm currently in the middle of [a grand fic giveaway over on Tumblr](https://sockablock.tumblr.com/tagged/5k-fic-request), which is why I've been so inactive here as of late. Don't worry, though, I will definitely be posting more of the prompts here, and soon we will return to our regularly-scheduled longfics.
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to [check out all the drabbles I've written](https://sockablock.tumblr.com/tagged/jay+fills+requests), or just hit me up over there!
> 
> Until next time! <3


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